Families Marriages and Individuals

Families, Marriages, & Individuals

Conflict Resolution Services for Families, Marriages & Individuals

When individuals are in disagreement, misunderstanding, or have offended or been offended, the first step is to address the situation one-to-one. God’s Word tells us that we should go to that person and try to work out our differences personally and privately (see Matthew 5:23-24; 18:15). Special care should be taken when there is abuse or a power differential that calls for assistance and safety in the first step.​ If repeated efforts to reconcile differences in private do not succeed, the Bible teaches that we Christians should seek assistance from other Christians in resolving the matter (see Philippians 4:2,3 and Matthew 18:16). This is the foundation for Christian Conciliation. Crossroads Resolution Group is ready to help resolve conflicts between individuals, within families, and between spouses. If a conflict or dispute is affecting you, your family, or your marriage, reach out to us today. We provide assistance in the following ways:

Assessment

Family and marriage conflicts are usually experienced and perceived differently by each of the parties. Often only one of the parties feels the need for assistance and is not certain if the others will also believe assistance is necessary. Since this type of assistance requires all of the parties to voluntarily participate, an assessment as an initial step is helpful. The assessment permits the conciliator to conduct up to 10 one-hour interviews with the potential participants. These interviews allow the conciliator to understand the issues and perspectives of the parties, and to discuss the proposed process and benefits. This often helps the necessary parties to come to agreement to move forward with one of the processes explained below.

Family Services

Facilitation & Conciliation of Family Relationships

We assist families as they navigate important and difficult discussions, as well as provide conciliation assistance for conflicts within the family. These services provide help for single and multiple generational families seeking to discuss and address the conflicts that arise from the family relationships. These services include helping a family discuss estate planning and elder care issues, strained relationships within the extended and nuclear family, and other key transitional decisions families encounter.

Conciliation services are designed to help family members biblically address the uniqueness of family conflict. While very desirous of reconciliation, those in highly conflicted or ‘stuck’ families often find their attempts at lasting and peaceful resolution ineffective.

Discouraged that they cannot live peacefully with someone they love so much, family members are often tempted to give up, continue attacking, go away, or just endure the conflict or estrangement. Applying the hope of the Gospel and principles of biblical conflict resolution, Conciliation provides hope and practical help to families.

Conciliation immediately brings changes to the dynamic of conflict and communication in a situation. The presence of conciliators changes the way people talk about their conflict as well as brings the hope, skills and faith of the conciliators into the dynamic of the conflicts.

We use two Christian Conciliators in Family Intensives. We always use a male and a female. Family Intensives always involve both spouses of couples, and usually as many of the nuclear and immediate family members as are willing to participate. It is a voluntary process.

Family Intensive Steps

  1. Assessment of the situation
  2. Initial interviews with each participating family member
  3. Preparation coaching and assignment of preparation work
  4. Three- to five-day intensive with two conciliators
  5. Preparation of and carrying out a restoration plan over the months and years following the intensive
Download Family Intensive Description

Facilitation & Mediation of Family Businesses

Families are often engaged in business enterprises with one another, spanning generations and involving spouses and extended family. These situations are frequently impacted by the relational aspects of family, complicated by the business or substantive issues such as co-management, succession planning, purchase and sale of the business or assets, and division upon death and executing estate plans. Often, the importance of relationship in family has exponentially impacted the extent of the depth and pain of both the relational and substantive conflict.

The parties are assisted to see clearly and beyond the entangling dynamics and perspectives that have developed. Conciliators help the parties to see how that relationship’s importance can aid them in resolving the current significant substantive conflicts and equip the parties to resolve future conflicts as well.

While resolving both relational and substantive issues within the conciliation the individuals also learn how to resolve their conflicts biblically on their own. They learn to listen for and value the interests of one another, how to reconcile offenses, and build trust and conflict resolution skills that will benefit them in the future.

Family conciliation is solution oriented, primarily dealing directly with very specific conflicts, but also understanding the history, priorities, and values of the parties and their relationships.

Those insights are reflected in the summary and plan that the family develops during the conciliation process. Family members are assisted in developing a summary and plan that reflects their own unique stories and challenges. The plan usually includes the agreements and steps to be taken as part of the resolution of the substantive issues.

The process follows what is described in the Facilitation & Conciliation of Family Relationships, with the addition of the conciliator team, including someone with business and technical knowledge and experience to help mediate the substantive business issues.

More Information

Want an example of conflict consulting for family businesses and estate planning?

Download Conflict Consulting for Families Download Family Intensive for Business Description

Marriage Services

Marriage Intensive

Marriage is a unique relationship that is different from all our other relationships. It is in marriage and family that we find many of our greatest joys. We also experience some of our greatest sorrows in those relationships, sorrows that are often a result of some form of conflict.

CRG Marriage conciliation services are specifically designed to offer hope and help in those situations. Our marriage and family services, while following our general conciliation process, have been tailored, through years of experience, to promote reconciliation and restoration in these most unique relationships. These intensives are designed to create a safe environment to address, in depth, the issues that create potential or actual separation or loss of the marriage or family relationship.

Conciliation immediately brings change to the dynamic of conflict and communication in a situation. Because marriages are very private relationships, these immediate changes may be even more redemptively impactful. The presence of conciliators changes the way people talk about their conflict as well as brings the hope, skills and faith of the conciliators into the dynamic of the conflicts.

The importance of relationship in marriage exponentially impacts the extent of the depth and pain of the conflict. In marriage conciliation, the parties are assisted to see clearly and beyond the entangling dynamics and perspectives that have developed. Conciliators help the parties to see how the importance of that relationship can aid them in resolving the current significant conflicts and equipping the parties to resolve future conflicts as well.

While resolving both relational and substantive issues within the conciliation, the individuals also learn how to resolve their conflicts biblically on their own. They learn to listen for and value the interests of one another, how to reconcile offenses, and how to build trust and conflict resolution skills that will benefit them in the future.

Marriage & Family Conciliation Services Marriage Intensive Services Details

Marriage Intensive Steps

  1. Assessment of the situation
  2. Preparation coaching and assignment of preparation work
  3. 3 – 5 day intensive with 2 conciliators (after initial intake the actual amount of time is determined to accommodate the need)
  4. Identification of mentors and preparation of mentors

Time Investment

Estimated time for the process is 3 to 6 weeks, plus follow up with mentors

  • 3 weeks preparation and scheduling
  • 3 – 5 day intensive
  • 4 weeks – follow up conversation
  • 6 to 12 month follow up with mentors

Marriage Coaching & Mediation

Some marital conflicts are addressed early enough, or the issues are more focused on substantive disagreements, making assistance in the form of coaching or issue mediation more appropriate. Where these services are determined to be appropriate (see Assessment), we provide the following services:

Coaching

Our conciliators help one or both spouses prepare to have a beneficial conversation with one another. Participants are helped to evaluate the situation and their own roles in the conflict; then respond in a way that glorifies God and encourages reconciliation. Coaching is provided through phone/video conferences or on-site visits, depending on the needs and resources of the parties involved.

Mediation

Mediation services for marriages can also follow the more typical mediation process. This process applies the hope of the Gospel and principles of biblical conflict resolution. Couples work together with a conciliator(s) to reconcile relationships and develop a customized plan with the long-term goal of restoring peace and joy to the relationship. A plan usually includes steps for personal growth for those involved, improved communication goals and skills, and setting clear expectations and steps to accomplish mutually agreed upon goals. This is not deep counseling or psychotherapy; however, the agreed upon plan could include future counseling for issues that come to light during the conciliation process.

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“If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people?”

I Corinthians 6:1 NIV

Individual Conciliation Services

Our conciliators help individuals on one or both sides of the conflict prepare to have a beneficial conversation with one another. Participants are helped to evaluate the situation and their own roles in the conflict; then respond in a way that glorifies God and encourages reconciliation. Coaching is provided through phone/video conferences or on-site visits, depending on the needs and resources of the parties involved.

More Information

For detailed information about Conflict Coaching, download the Proposal & Agreement.

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Coaching

Our conciliators help individuals prepare to have a beneficial conversation with another person. Participants are helped to evaluate the situation and their own roles in the conflict; then respond in a way that glorifies God and encourages reconciliation. Coaching is provided through phone/video conferences or on-site visits, depending on the needs and resources of the parties involved.

Mediation

We provide a process and leadership in helping individuals in a wide variety of situations discuss and reach a resolution while also preserving or restoring the relationship necessary for effective work together. CRG offers an alternative in which disputes are settled in a biblically faithful manner. The service helps the parties resolve the substantive issues while addressing the relational issues, seeking to preserve or repair the relationships broken due to the conflict. The Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation.

Arbitration

Arbitration is the process available in the event mediation does not resolve all of the material or substantive claims. It is a legally binding process, which follows The Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation. Arbitration is a cooperative, non-adversarial process that allows the parties to fully present their factual information and legal precedents and guidelines, with or without the assistance of attorneys. The Arbitrator renders a legally binding and enforceable decision.

Separation & Divorce Coaching, Mediation, & Arbitration

Where couples and their church have decided that separation or divorce is the only option left, we can provide assistance to help them discuss and reach an agreement on a variety of issues, including:

  • Spousal support
  • Child support
  • Parenting plans
  • Property division
  • Relational healing necessary for co-parenting

Assistance can be provided through:

Coaching

Our conciliators help one or both spouses prepare to have a beneficial conversation with one another and help them evaluate the situation and their own roles in the conflict.

More About Coaching

Mediation

Couples work together with a conciliator(s) to reconcile relationships and develop a customized plan with the long-term goal of restoring peace and joy to the relationship.

More About Mediation

Arbitration

Arbitration is the process available in the event mediation does not resolve all of the material or substantive claims. It is a legally binding process, which follows The Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation. Arbitration is a cooperative, non-adversarial process that allows the parties to fully present their factual information and legal precedents and guidelines, with or without the assistance of attorneys. The Arbitrator renders a legally binding and enforceable decision.

More About Arbitration View Related Downloads

Equipping & Training

Conciliators are prepared to use Relational Wisdom as well as conflict resolution experience, knowledge and skills to assist you. We teach and apply these skills through seminars, workshops, retreats and ongoing coaching, consulting or group study relating specifically to marriage and family.

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Assistance is Confidential

The parties and the conciliators must agree at the outset that, with few exceptions, the conciliators will not be asked to divulge information outside of the conciliation process or the ecclesiastical structure of the parties’ churches. In particular, they may not be subpoenaed to testify in subsequent legal proceedings (see Rules 16 and 17 of the Rules of Procedure). The parties are required to commit to not divulging information to people who do not have a necessary and legitimate interest in the conflict.

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